Yes, Bhikku, you heard me right. That man asked me to describe Nirvana, and I said it is pink, soft and smells like cardamom. He is a manager. Anything more detailed than that will confuse him.
-- The Diary, Full Moon Day, April 515 BC
Mon, Jan 23 Close shave today. Bill called me in. I thought he was going to fire me, but he said I've been promoted to manager. I hope I didn't look too relieved. But this is great. Now I can really make a difference. I told him I have a vision for the group. I do. I'll show them. Note to self: be hands-on, but dont' micromanage.
Wed, Jan 25 Spoke to Charlie Wong today. I think he resented me being promoted over him. I assured him he he has a key role to play. That's the secret of good management. Always shoot straight and build good relationships. [Charlie Wong's diary for Wed, Jan 25: Sam is now very oily. He probably thinks I'm jealous. Jealous of him? Yeah, maybe I should be. My life would be uncomplicated too, if only I were an idiot like him. Can't believe he is manager now. It is all racism, of course. There's a glass ceiling for Asians.]
Tue, Late Feb. No time to update this diary anymore. Am getting stressed out. Too much to do. Chatted with Bill. He said I am doing just fine. Said Software is doing great under me. Poor chap, he must be stressed too. I manage Analog, not Software.
Thu, mid-April Bill called me in. Said we are losing customers. Wanted me to focus more on the job. I'm getting worried.
Third weekend of April The wife made me go to her Asian faith-healer. Weird fellow. He was looking at my horoscope. I told him I'd become manager, but things are going bad. He threw away the horoscope. Sat down and talked to me. Said my problem was that I was doing too much. Asked me to relax. Gave me some stress-fighting exercise. If I get stressed out, I should face north, kneel down, lift up my left palm and punch it hard thrice with the right fist, shouting "I can do it. I can do it. I can do it". Said I should call more meetings, and do less work by myself. A manager is like a general, he says. Generals don't fight. Foot soldiers do. Makes sense. I'll follow his advice.
Wednesday, 25th April Had five meetings today. Assigned lots of action items. I think we are making progress.
Thursday, 26th April This is great. I feel like a general now. The left palm hurts a little, though.
Monday, 1st May I have learned to devolve, so that I can concentrate on man-management and customer interaction. Asked Charlie to lead the design team. He'll lead Srinivas, Srinivasa and Srinivasan. Man, Indian names are very similar. But they say they are all from different parts of India, and speak different dialects. Yeah, no kidding! Charlie says every Chinese woman can identify her husband in a crowd. It's amazing, because all Chinese people look alike. I am understanding foreign cultures. Should put that in my resume, when I come up for promotion.
Tuesday, 1st May I am in Paris. Customer rep from X__ is here, too. He works in Boston. Says he has travelled here for the meeting. I told him I work in New York, so maybe we can meet in Boston itself. He says their conference center is in Paris, so it is better to meet there. I don't mind. Paris is nice, and I'm getting airline miles. But anyway, it seems a waste of company money.
Thursday, 3rd May Spoke to Bill about going to Boston instead of Paris. Thought he'd be impressed. He frowned and said he'll think about it.
Monday, 8th May Bill said he would have asked me to take over Digital too, except that it will involve travelling and I seem so reluctant to travel. I assured him that I have no problems travelling. Am going to Paris again Thursday.
Wed, 10th May
10 am Firefighting today. Srinivas said he also he wants to be a team lead. I made him Architecture Lead. Charlie leads design, so it should be OK.
2 pm Srinivasan complained too. Had to pacify him somehow. Made him Interface Lead.
5 pm Srinivasa is System Optimization Lead. I'm getting good at this.
Mon, 15th May, 11am Got a design win from the Boston company. This is great news. Charlie says our design is best in class. I haven't had a chance to go over the design document. Should do it soon. Maybe even ask for a demo. But now it's time to celebrate.
Wed, 17th May, 9 am I'm beginning to enjoy the job. It's good to be an individual contributor, but as manager, you can pursue your vision. It's a fine art. You need to get the best out of people without stressing them out too much. You need to understand the big picture, but also know the details. That's where my technical background helps. I understand the details. Anyway, travelling to Australia next week. X__ has moved their conference center there. This should be a good meeting. We need to iron out all the details. I'll get the exact system specs. Details. That's the key.
Fri, 26rd May, 9 am Meeting in Australia went great. We laid a good foundation and came up with a framework for further relation-building. I'm putting in place an infrastructure to monitor the information flow. All meeting minutes will be put in cross-referenced spreadsheets and uploaded to the company internal website, with password access for the customer. I should ask Linda to work on it.
Fri, 26rd May, 11 am Linda says the minutes have already been uploaded to the company website. The previous manager had the same idea. I never thought he was this smart. (Note to self: Linda is efficient, but she does not have the right vibes. I should get a new secretary. I think a redhead would have a more business-oriented, customer-friendly professional approach.)
Tue or Wed, 1th June,
9am Arranged a visit next week by the interface team in X___ to see our demo.
10am Big problem!! Charlie says demo won't be ready by next week. Said architecture isn't mature. Need to talk to Srinivas (or is it Srinivasa)
10:30 am Spoke to Srinivasa. He says the design isnt' complete. Asked Charlie for the design document.
11 am Charlie says the design isn't over, because he is waiting for interface specs from Srinivasan.
11:30 am Srinivasan says interface spec isn't complete. Didn't know whether power or area was important. Optimization requirements aren't in yet.
2 pm Optimization req. not set. S~ says he didn't get first-pass design document, so there was nothing to optimize.
3 pm Which way is north?
4 pm My palm hurts
5 pm Had some emergency meetings. We are making progress. Gave action items to everyone.
6 pm I'm proud of myself. Three months back, I'd have panicked. Now I'm cool.
11 pm Just realized something. If we didn't have the design, how did we get a design win from X__? Those guys are incompetent idiots. That's the problem with high-level management. Details. That's the key.
Tue, 7th June
Tomorrow is the big day. DEMO
Wed, 8th June
3 pm Demo has been a big success so far. We went to a Chinese place for lunch. My choice. The team from X__ just loved it. They are all Chinese. Maybe some are Korean. Who knows? They are meeting the group now.
5 pm They seem impressed with the group. The manager says he hopes to build a good working relationship based on interpersonal interactions. Asked us to come over to their conference center in Morocco for a brainstorming session next month.
5:30 pm They hadn't gone to the lab to see the demo. I suggested we do it. They seemed to like the idea.
6:00 pm The guys had left early. Noone to show the demo. I showed them some of Charlie's slides. They seemed happy.
Closer to Friday than Monday, Late June
Bill called me to the room. Said he was very impressed. X__ had said I was very hands on. He said I'll take over his job starting next month. I am now the VP of the entire Design Center. This is great. I was expecting it, though. Bill is retiring.
Monday, I think. July?
9 am Took over as VP. Should find someone to take my old job. I think Srinivas will be a good choice. I'll call him now.
5 pm Oops, I promoted Srinivasa instead of Srinivas. Man, how do I correct this one?
6 pm Naah! Figured it's OK. They are both idiots anyway. I'll have to do everything myself, as always.
L~T~, my boy, welcome to Corporate America.
-- The Diary, Full Moon Day, April 515 BC
Mon, Jan 23 Close shave today. Bill called me in. I thought he was going to fire me, but he said I've been promoted to manager. I hope I didn't look too relieved. But this is great. Now I can really make a difference. I told him I have a vision for the group. I do. I'll show them. Note to self: be hands-on, but dont' micromanage.
Wed, Jan 25 Spoke to Charlie Wong today. I think he resented me being promoted over him. I assured him he he has a key role to play. That's the secret of good management. Always shoot straight and build good relationships. [Charlie Wong's diary for Wed, Jan 25: Sam is now very oily. He probably thinks I'm jealous. Jealous of him? Yeah, maybe I should be. My life would be uncomplicated too, if only I were an idiot like him. Can't believe he is manager now. It is all racism, of course. There's a glass ceiling for Asians.]
Tue, Late Feb. No time to update this diary anymore. Am getting stressed out. Too much to do. Chatted with Bill. He said I am doing just fine. Said Software is doing great under me. Poor chap, he must be stressed too. I manage Analog, not Software.
Thu, mid-April Bill called me in. Said we are losing customers. Wanted me to focus more on the job. I'm getting worried.
Third weekend of April The wife made me go to her Asian faith-healer. Weird fellow. He was looking at my horoscope. I told him I'd become manager, but things are going bad. He threw away the horoscope. Sat down and talked to me. Said my problem was that I was doing too much. Asked me to relax. Gave me some stress-fighting exercise. If I get stressed out, I should face north, kneel down, lift up my left palm and punch it hard thrice with the right fist, shouting "I can do it. I can do it. I can do it". Said I should call more meetings, and do less work by myself. A manager is like a general, he says. Generals don't fight. Foot soldiers do. Makes sense. I'll follow his advice.
Wednesday, 25th April Had five meetings today. Assigned lots of action items. I think we are making progress.
Thursday, 26th April This is great. I feel like a general now. The left palm hurts a little, though.
Monday, 1st May I have learned to devolve, so that I can concentrate on man-management and customer interaction. Asked Charlie to lead the design team. He'll lead Srinivas, Srinivasa and Srinivasan. Man, Indian names are very similar. But they say they are all from different parts of India, and speak different dialects. Yeah, no kidding! Charlie says every Chinese woman can identify her husband in a crowd. It's amazing, because all Chinese people look alike. I am understanding foreign cultures. Should put that in my resume, when I come up for promotion.
Tuesday, 1st May I am in Paris. Customer rep from X__ is here, too. He works in Boston. Says he has travelled here for the meeting. I told him I work in New York, so maybe we can meet in Boston itself. He says their conference center is in Paris, so it is better to meet there. I don't mind. Paris is nice, and I'm getting airline miles. But anyway, it seems a waste of company money.
Thursday, 3rd May Spoke to Bill about going to Boston instead of Paris. Thought he'd be impressed. He frowned and said he'll think about it.
Monday, 8th May Bill said he would have asked me to take over Digital too, except that it will involve travelling and I seem so reluctant to travel. I assured him that I have no problems travelling. Am going to Paris again Thursday.
Wed, 10th May
10 am Firefighting today. Srinivas said he also he wants to be a team lead. I made him Architecture Lead. Charlie leads design, so it should be OK.
2 pm Srinivasan complained too. Had to pacify him somehow. Made him Interface Lead.
5 pm Srinivasa is System Optimization Lead. I'm getting good at this.
Mon, 15th May, 11am Got a design win from the Boston company. This is great news. Charlie says our design is best in class. I haven't had a chance to go over the design document. Should do it soon. Maybe even ask for a demo. But now it's time to celebrate.
Wed, 17th May, 9 am I'm beginning to enjoy the job. It's good to be an individual contributor, but as manager, you can pursue your vision. It's a fine art. You need to get the best out of people without stressing them out too much. You need to understand the big picture, but also know the details. That's where my technical background helps. I understand the details. Anyway, travelling to Australia next week. X__ has moved their conference center there. This should be a good meeting. We need to iron out all the details. I'll get the exact system specs. Details. That's the key.
Fri, 26rd May, 9 am Meeting in Australia went great. We laid a good foundation and came up with a framework for further relation-building. I'm putting in place an infrastructure to monitor the information flow. All meeting minutes will be put in cross-referenced spreadsheets and uploaded to the company internal website, with password access for the customer. I should ask Linda to work on it.
Fri, 26rd May, 11 am Linda says the minutes have already been uploaded to the company website. The previous manager had the same idea. I never thought he was this smart. (Note to self: Linda is efficient, but she does not have the right vibes. I should get a new secretary. I think a redhead would have a more business-oriented, customer-friendly professional approach.)
Tue or Wed, 1th June,
9am Arranged a visit next week by the interface team in X___ to see our demo.
10am Big problem!! Charlie says demo won't be ready by next week. Said architecture isn't mature. Need to talk to Srinivas (or is it Srinivasa)
10:30 am Spoke to Srinivasa. He says the design isnt' complete. Asked Charlie for the design document.
11 am Charlie says the design isn't over, because he is waiting for interface specs from Srinivasan.
11:30 am Srinivasan says interface spec isn't complete. Didn't know whether power or area was important. Optimization requirements aren't in yet.
2 pm Optimization req. not set. S~ says he didn't get first-pass design document, so there was nothing to optimize.
3 pm Which way is north?
4 pm My palm hurts
5 pm Had some emergency meetings. We are making progress. Gave action items to everyone.
6 pm I'm proud of myself. Three months back, I'd have panicked. Now I'm cool.
11 pm Just realized something. If we didn't have the design, how did we get a design win from X__? Those guys are incompetent idiots. That's the problem with high-level management. Details. That's the key.
Tue, 7th June
Tomorrow is the big day. DEMO
Wed, 8th June
3 pm Demo has been a big success so far. We went to a Chinese place for lunch. My choice. The team from X__ just loved it. They are all Chinese. Maybe some are Korean. Who knows? They are meeting the group now.
5 pm They seem impressed with the group. The manager says he hopes to build a good working relationship based on interpersonal interactions. Asked us to come over to their conference center in Morocco for a brainstorming session next month.
5:30 pm They hadn't gone to the lab to see the demo. I suggested we do it. They seemed to like the idea.
6:00 pm The guys had left early. Noone to show the demo. I showed them some of Charlie's slides. They seemed happy.
Closer to Friday than Monday, Late June
Bill called me to the room. Said he was very impressed. X__ had said I was very hands on. He said I'll take over his job starting next month. I am now the VP of the entire Design Center. This is great. I was expecting it, though. Bill is retiring.
Monday, I think. July?
9 am Took over as VP. Should find someone to take my old job. I think Srinivas will be a good choice. I'll call him now.
5 pm Oops, I promoted Srinivasa instead of Srinivas. Man, how do I correct this one?
6 pm Naah! Figured it's OK. They are both idiots anyway. I'll have to do everything myself, as always.
L~T~, my boy, welcome to Corporate America.
1 comment:
mr. B/S, mr. W left a note.
It says "Cha-Ching!"
-ms. S/B
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