Meter Lost, Poet Suicidal

From our special correspondent
Dallas, TX

Serial poet B. is disconsolate: his magnum opus "An Evening By a Lake" (link) was so nearly a critically acclaimed classic. It had everything: a touching core idea (inspired, let us say by Frost's "A Tuft of Flowers"), a beautiful photograph of Lake Yellowstone, and even rhyming lines. Critics claim, however, that the complete absence of meter in it makes the poem something of a failure. Meter, as the reader might know, is commonly used to make poetry rhythmic.

A press-release from serial poet Badri says : "The absence of meter in the poem was forced on me by the sudden and unexpected loss of my own meter, and the unavailability of replacements in the market." The release continues, "I had it [the meter], I even used in the first line, but I took my eye off because I was getting the lines to rhyme, and before I knew it, it was gone."

When contacted, serial poet Badri was depressed and incoherent. "It [the poem] would have been a masterpiece. If I hadn't lost my meter, it would have sounded musical. But now, it sounds like I ate too much mirchi bhajji before writing it."

We asked serial poet Badri if he couldn't make do without meter. He replies with an emphatic no. He laments:

"Writing poetry without meter,
Is like wiping up without water.

The result doesn't appeal a bit,
The damn thing's just full of shit.

For verse, meter is a vital part,
Without it, you get fart not art."

Citizens with the good-samaritan spirit are requested to either seek out serial poet Badri's lost meter, or lend him one for the interim. This is an emergency situation. "There are just two things I really crave," says serial poet Badri, "..., and the second thing is to write poetry."